It’s my 30th year on earth. I don’t celebrate my birthday so this day is supposed to be just an ordinary day. However, it became more special because of one thing: today, I regained myself, my peace. And I even received an extra present because I also regained a person that I deeply love after months of being separated by sadness and misunderstanding.
Weeks before this day, I had already come to terms with the pain caused by some people’s weaknesses and poor decision. I had learned to see the bigger picture – why it happened, what it effect this entire fiasco had on me, my family and friends. I also learned a lot.
I learned that not everyone can be trusted. Just because they said they cared doesn’t mean they truly respect you. Just because you have shown them kindness doesn’t mean they’d return the favor, especially when you have just met them online. We cannot expect the people we meet that way to be entirely honest. Actually, I have proven in the most painful way that social media is the most dangerous place right now, full of people who may at the onset appear to be friendly but may lie and break you in the end.
I learned that sometimes, our worst enemy is our own self. We are fallible and our own weaknesses are oftentimes the ones that put us in danger. If we were the sort that gives in to loneliness or anger or fear, then we would be more likely to commit big mistakes that we would definitely regret in the end.
I also learned that it is possible to forgive even when the people who wronged you haven’t apologized yet. I didn’t hear the words “I’m sorry” before this day but I managed to let love cover their mistakes. The truth is, when it comes to forgiving, it really doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, who was hurt and who caused the greater pain, who was willing to apologize and who forgot to do so. What really matters is how we can show love even when it is very difficult to do so.
I also learned so much about myself. I realized that my heart can indeed withstand even the most trying and tiring moments in life. It can see and understand even what lies beyond words. It may take offense at first but it can rise above the offense and continue loving. I have always thought I am weak but I realized that I am far from being one. Weak people are those who retaliate when they’ve been wronged. Weak people are those who remain embittered by people’s dishonesty, those who would refuse to seek out real help and would just take matters into their own hands, those who would refuse to accept chances for reconciliation, those who would just let hate win. And I am not weak.
I know that from this day onward, this story shall continue for others involved. But my role in the story ends today. I will be on another route. My wounds have healed. There are scars left but these scars I know, will remind me not of the bad things that happened to me and to everyone involved; but of the good things this experience instilled in me. The path that led me to this day wasn’t an easy one. But the arduous journey was all worth it. I reached my destination in one piece, literally and spiritually.