Posted in Dyurnal: Kuwento ng Sarili

When Things Turn Silver

I turned 25 last July. Finally I have reached that phase of my life where I can rightly call myself an adult. And the fact that I reached this stage without engaging into any sort of juvenile delinquency or worse getting into prison makes me ecstatic and really proud of myself.

In spite of the happiness, I can’t help but recall some of vows and plans I made when I was still young, that apparently didn’t materialize – house, car, husband, stable job and wonderful kids. I was in high school then when I told myself I would have attained all those things by the time I reach 25.

I have a job, a satisfying one. I actually started working two months before I graduated from college. I couldn’t pronounce myself financially stable though for I still have to seek financial help at times. I have become a college instructor though I didn’t plan of becoming a teacher when I was still young. My profession is enabling me to reach hearts, touch and change lives. For the record, I love what I’m doing, I love teaching. But that doesn’t change the fact that my job doesn’t really pay much. I am still struggling everyday to make ends meet. I still beg Mama for help so that I can pay my phone bills and that’s the good thing about living with your parents though you’re already 25 – financial support is always within reach. The thing is, I’m still struggling so no, I’m not yet stable as far as financial matters are concerned. And yes, I don’t have my own house yet. I am still sleeping in the same bed my parents bought for me when I graduated from elementary. I still eat dinner at the same table my parents and I used to sit at to eat and talk about different stuff when I was still in high school. I still use the same bathroom every day.

I was also in high school then when I told myself I would be getting married at 25 and I was so certain when I said that. I even told a friend that if such would not happen, then I would stay single for the rest of my life. Believe me, I did say that. I’m already 25 and nobody’s there to ask for my hand in marriage. In fact, I have never gotten into any romantic relationship yet since then. I have been close to some good guys in the past yes, but I haven’t really come by someone whom I want to be romantically involved with and someone who wants to be romantically involved with me as well. My college years were filled with fun – passing an exam, receiving good grades, sleeping over at a friend’s house, traveling to different places, joining a band and having gigs. I was having so much fun while doing my responsibilities as a student that I didn’t feel the necessity of being in a romantic relationship. And from the time I went home to our province and started teaching, no guy has shown real interest in me. Some friends and colleagues even told me I should start mingling with new faces so that I could meet new people (and when they say people, they’re pertaining to potential boyfriends) but no, I’m not the type who would go to parties or other events for that purpose. I’d rather stay at home and read books. 

I am 25 and haven’t obtained any of the things I said I would have already obtained by the time I reach this stage. Pero ganoon naman talaga siguro ang buhay. Life indeed has its own way of surprising you. Though my original plans didn’t materialize, it doesn’t mean I didn’t achieve anything. The truth is, life has helped me achieve a lot of things I never thought I would be capable of achieving. I became a professional and licensed teacher though I am not an Education graduate. I took the Licensure Exam for Teachers in 2010 and immediately passed. I have taught and mothered a thousand of students already and this brought me so much joy.

I am 25. I am single. I still live with my mother. (My father died last year.) I’m happy that I am. And I don’t feel anxious about me getting older again next year. I still believe in this adage (which I also impart with others): “Walang masama sa pagtanda basta may pinagkatandaan.” (There is nothing wrong about getting old. What matters most is that we’ve learned something.)

 

(I wrote this in 2012 and first posted it in Tumblr.)

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Author:

Senior High School Teacher from the Philippines.

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