Silence consumes me whenever I enter the classroom.
Silence cripples me whenever I meet their gaze.
I am not one of them. No longer one of them.
My place is right next to the board, in front of them.
Silence is overwhelming. It makes me lame.
I can’t win them with my voice.
But they can tear me down with just a glance.
They can make me stutter.
I read the book and they haven’t.
Yet i feel like I know nothing.
Sometimes they listen, and I die.
I sit right next to the board
yet I still feel like a little girl
sitting in the farthest corner of the room.
(I wrote this short poem in 2008 during my first week at work. It was my first time to teach college students. Though the job seemed exciting, I still had doubts and fears.)