Many say truth hurts. I used to say, no it doesn’t but it liberates someone. But whatever it does to someone, one thing will remain constant – it can never be hidden.
I have battled against negative thoughts for months. Everyday I would observe some people’s actions and words, would even stalk them on their social media accounts to fish for details that could back up my assumptions. Every time, I would end up having more negative thoughts of me being betrayed by the very people I love. Every time, I would embrace the pain caused by these thoughts. There were nights when these thoughts lulled me to sleep. There were days when I woke up hating myself for entertaining these thoughts and vowing I won’t let them in again…I hated myself for entertaining negative thoughts, for thinking badly of some people…only to find out that my thoughts were actually real and that I was right all along.
I was indeed being betrayed. That in itself is already painful. But when the people involved are those who once called you “my best friend” or “my love,” and those you grew up with, the pain becomes more unbearable.
Whatever their reason is, I don’t want to know anymore. It’s not that I don’t want to hear their explanation or that I don’t want to give them a chance to apologize. It’s because there is no amount of explanation that would be valid enough to justify what they did. You don’t betray someone and say “I didn’t have a choice” or “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” You betray someone because you want to satisfy your own longings, whether they’re selfish or otherwise, and there are no words that could soften or cover that fact or the impact of what you have done.
Many say truth hurts. I used to say, no it doesn’t but it liberates someone. And now, I’ll say, it will soon be a part of the past. I may not forget it. But I definitely have learned from it.